Food

Last night, I had 2 quesadillas. They tasted ok. I ate them because they were there.
Today, I had Pinkberry. It tasted great. I ate it because I craved sugar. I had two cookies for the same reason.

I'm wondering if working out my feelings and dedicating time to myself and my thoughts every morning would help to establish better eating patterns.

I also stuff my face when I'm bored. When I feel stress coming on. When I'm actually stressed, I'm too busy to eat - but when I feel it coming, I reach for my lunch/ snack/ something sweet.

Wish I understood my obsession with food. As yet, I haven't figured it out but hopefully will soon.

I was going to do a master cleanse, not to as it would be for the wrong reasons. I don't believe I'd be flushing a bunch of toxins or losing fat or weight that I'd be able to keep off. It would be a quick fix, when what I need is a lifestyle change that I can honestly commit to.

I have to truly accept that it will be hard and there will be self-denial (which I hate) and there will be moments when I want to cry because I want to eat something so bad. But I have to accept that it will probably be like that because I am honestly starting to feel as though I may have an addiction to food. Thinking about eating less makes me feel basically the way I felt when I realized that I had to quit smoking.

Sigh.

It must be done. I am unsatisfied with my body, and I don't like the lack of control that I'm displaying.

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